These Secrets
by TJ Sparkles
Summary: “Is it going to be him or me, Li? Tonight, I really need to know.” Lita never imagined she'd be in this situation. But when secrets are revealed, it's never pretty. John Cena/Lita, implied Lita/Randy. Oneshot.


**A/N: Originally posted at lita_fics (over at LJ). This is the slightly extended version. I kinda just took the prompt and ran with it, LOL. This is also one of my fave pairings to write.**

**Summary: Love wasn't supposed to hurt, but it had and it still was.**

**Please R&R.

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**"Well, what's it going to be?" John questioned, as he knelt down over Lita, who was sitting on the bed crying, her pretty face stained with tears and the supposed waterproof mascara that had run down her cheeks. Never before had she thought that this would be happening. She loved John, really, she did. The Atlanta resident never meant to hurt him; love wasn't supposed to hurt. But during his time on the road, she'd fallen into the comforting arms of another man.

That alone probably wouldn't have bothered John so much, but this man wasn't just some random guy from Amy's past. No, Amy had gotten involved with his best friend, Randy Orton. It set John's blood boiling every time that he thought about his best friend putting his hands all over the fiery beauty. It made him want to pound the crap out of Randy, but John couldn't lay all the blame on his friend. It takes two to tango, after all. Lita was to blame just as much as Randy was.

Lita just sat there, dumbfounded. _You know you should be with John and forget about Randy. You love him; Randy was just a one time thing. Tell John that you love him, that you don't care about Randy. _Her mind was racing with so many thoughts that she just wanted to stand up and scream them out, get them out of her head somehow, anything. _This isn't happening right here, right now, _she tried to reassure herself. But when she dared to look up at John and saw the angry look on his face, she was reminded of the cold fact that it _was_ happening, and she was to blame for all of it. All she could think of at that moment was how mad John was. She'd never, in the entire span of their relationship, ever saw those blue eyes angry. One trait she'd loved about them was their twinkle. But the twinkle was gone now, it had died out because of her actions.

"Is it going to be him or me, Li? Tonight, I really need to know." John folded his arms over his chest. There was no emotion there; Lita had searched his eyes over and over hoping that there would be a glimmer of forgiveness in them. This time, she'd really screwed up and she knew that she'd be lucky if he ever talked to her again, let alone forgive her. So, taking a deep breath, she said the only thing she could, knowing that it wouldn't matter in the end, but at least she could say later that she'd tried.

"John, I'm sorry," she began, as she reached out and tried to take his hand. But the West Newbury native stepped back, the sour look still on his face. Lita sighed and rubbed her hand over her face, trying her best to make him understand how much she wanted to fix this.

"I know you're _sorry,_" he spat angrily. "But why'd you do it, Li? If I wasn't enough for you, if I didn't make you happy, why didn't you just tell me? You had to go behind my back and _fuck _my best friend?" His voice climbed several octaves as he continued to speak.

"I didn't…I didn't mean to hurt you," the redhead whispered, her voice barely above a whisper. She really hadn't. But like the saying goes, you hurt the ones you love the most. Lita didn't often regret the decisions that she made, but this time was different. John was right, she knew that...but there was no going back now. She had to bite the bullet and just accept what she'd done.

"Well, you did." John sat down beside of her on the king-size bed. He stared out the window, not speaking for several minutes as he tried to calm himself down. Finally, after what Lita felt was the most uncomfortable silence ever, he looked into her eyes and said,

"You know there's no fixing this, right? The trust between us, it's gone. I don't know if I'd ever be able to trust you again." His tone was solemn.

Lita shrugged. The statement broke her heart in two, but what did she expect him to do? Just take her into his arms and tell her that he loved her, and that they'd get through this?

"Yeah," she answered, turning away from John's gaze. If he was going to end this, why hadn't he done it already? She was prepared for John to tell her that he hated her, that he never wanted anything to do with her again, all of that. She pushed her hair away from her face, which was still wet with tears. If only she could go back a couple of months…..

She was only slightly aware of John's weight leaving the bed, and didn't even realize that he was at the door until she heard his gym bag rustle against the doorknob. The redhead turned toward John and noticed that he was still looking at her, almost like he was waiting for her to say something. But she couldn't speak. She knew that there were no words that would bring John back, no words that would make John hers again. Everything was too complicated now, and she'd hurt him too much. It was better to let him go than to ask him to stay.

The former WWE Champion only said one thing before he opened the door and stepped out of the room, and her life, forever. Lita had to strain to hear him, but she still heard it. Maybe she wasn't meant to, but she did. The words made her feel as if her heart would never stop breaking.

"I would have forgiven you for the cheating if you'd just told me…we had something special. I thought this was gonna be forever. Guess it wasn't meant to be."

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**Hope you all enjoyed :) I hope I haven't been bugging you guys with all these updates lately.  
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